Seriously sometimes I'm soo sick of people. When there are alot of people you get alot of criticisms. Therefore here are my answers/counter arguments to their personal self-righteous jabs.
Each counter argument is divided by topic. So just skip to the ones you wanna read if you don't wanna read the whole thing.
[note: this is to the MAJORITY of people not those who happen to have personal specific fetishes for topics 1 and 2]
Critic: "Don't wear so much makeup, natural beauty is best" "I want to see your REAL face" [referring to my naked face]
1. Natural beauty is best crap: sorry most people would seriously look much better if they trimmed their eyebrows or got rid of their lip fuzz. Or is not shaving your legs and armpit hair also attractive?? Not everyone is born looking drop dead gorgeous. Are you implying that those who aren't shouldn't be allowed the chance to improve their looks if they wanted to?
2. Whats this philosophical crap that your naked face is your REAL face? That's bullshit. That face is just the face you happened to be born with. Does it say anything about who you are? No it doesn't. Whereas makeup is most often personal choice and shows how a person would like to be seen. Makeup is a form of self expression!
Besides lets really count the hours. I wear makeup from after styling my hair in the morning to when im ready to climb into bed. This means i wear it minimally 16hrs a day! Its the face that is shown most hours of the day. The only reason why i take it off is because it will cause pimples or w/e if i left it on overnight.
In conclusion: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN INSTEAD OF CHANGING ME, LEAVE ME FOR PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE AND GO FIND YOUR PLAIN HOE ELSEWHERE!
To the guys who say:"If only she saw my personality she will fall in love with me." "She is racist and shallow because she only likes fashionable guys from a certain culture" "I can change~!"
1. Uh-huh, you keep on thinking like that. Some girls are less defined , have less options, or less stubborn/patient/more desperate. [I personally don't mind waiting] But lets be honest, you can't completely dismiss physical attraction.
This is how I see it:
JUST looks = nice eyecandy but that's about it
JUST personality= still makes very good friends don't you think?
Personality+ looks= Now we're talking ^_~
Why not have both when you can find both? and leave those other guys to someone who would appreciate them more.
2. Now, that's un-true. Its just a specification of the kind of lifestyle/values that you'd prefer in a partner THEN its a comment about which look appeals to you.
Saying that you want a fashionable partner is really no difference than a outdoors person who prefers to find outdoors partner. Fashion is not just a look, its a LIFESTYLE and a MINDSET.
Why I want a fashionable partner specifically?
1. A fashionable guy takes care of his appearance. Thus taking a simular amount of time to get ready in them morning as I do. If lets say he takes 45mins-1hr and i take 1hr15-1hr30 he only has to wait an extra 15-30mins. If i start ahead of him [aka shower before he does] then he has to wait even less. Even so, he doesn't mind waiting because he understands the process and waits patiently as you get ready.
BUT a normal guy doesn't take as long so he might be waiting for 1hr or so and he doesn't see the need for it. So he will become inpatient or have at least an undercurrent of impatience [I tolerate how long she takes] and will be rushing you out the door saying, it looks ok already lets go. You dont need to wear so much makeup lets go! Why do you have to take so long on your hair, or picking out your clothes?!
2. When you go shopping together, a fashionable guy will actually give you input and a real opinion of the clothes you are looking at. Like humm... i think this color is better, or maybe a size smaller is better etc. And he enjoys shopping with you and understands the time process of buying clothes. Whereas a normal guy will be like that looks nice, that looks nice too, everything looks nice or you already have so many clothes why do you need more? Why must you keep looking? that looks good enough lets go! Even if he doesn't say it, you will feel the undercurrent impatient/bored mood which wrecks your mood as well..
3. At the end of the day, a fashionable guy understands that a face with makeup and without is gonna look different and to what degree. They are fine with it. Trust me, girls who wear makeup normally have thier face prepped for makeup. eg eyebrows are thinned out and almost looking non existant so that when you DO put makeup on your eyebrows match your hair color. But a normal guy doesnt undersand that sometimes. They just say omg i feel ripped. She doenst look as pretty without makeup. HELLLO?! are u listening to yourself talk? since when did girls naturally have black liner/colored eyeshadow on their eyelids? gezz.. and whos being shallow now???
4. If you happen to co-habitate/get married if your values are vastly different, your budgeting will be screwed. 2 fashionable partners will set aside a pool for their clothes and personal appearance and cut back on other things. but if 1 lets say loves food and don't care about fashion, and the other is about fashion and not so big on food. the budget will be out of sync and its either gonna be a comprimize or the inability to save.
5. Why do people hate on fashionable guys? Yea they make want to make you wear makeup more, do you hair and want you to take care of how you look too. I DONT have problem with this~! i do it automatically anyway. Its nice to have someone keep me in check when im feeling a tad lazy anyway.
I can change! thing... why? just find someone who likes you for who you are as you are and let me find someone who i like for who they already are. Minor tweeks are fine but when it comes to major changes lets face the facts.
1. People can only change so much. Sometimes, honestly it will NEVER be even close.
2. A partner changing so much for the other will have this overbearing tension at times if not alot of the time. I don't want the burden of "I did this and this and this for you. I changed for you! why can't you change for me???" Forget it! Easier just to find someone who is what you want in the first place. So that they will be like we looked so hard for the partner who is suitable for us. She loves me for exactly who i am.
In conclusion: WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE JUST NOT MEANT FOR ME?!
Ditching Your Roots
"You must be ashamed of being chinese because you rather say you are canadian." "You are betraying your chinese heritage by being so intersted in Japan" "You secretly want to be white because you say you are canadian and dye your hair blonde/ wear blue cons"
First off lets look at the REASON why people ask where are you from/ what's your ethnic background. Its a question to know a bit more about you. The basic fundamental, general way that you are wired culturally. Personally speaking, given my situation, saying im chinese is an extra bit of information that throws people WAAAAAAAAY off. Saying I'm canadian is much closer to who i am.
1. YES I rather would say I'm canadian! BECAUSE I AM CANADIAN. DUH. I think it tells more about me and more info of who i am than if i said I'm chinese. I'm chinese by blood sure, but I'm not nationally chinese, and I'm not culturally chinese. If i said im chinese right off the bat before someone knows me well enough, they will a) start speaking to me in chinese [before i can even say i dont know any] b) assume that i was raised with chinese values and traditions which I'm not. So this piece of info about me is almost irrelevant.
I was raised as a canadian. My parents raised me with 80% western way if not 90%. The only chinese we kept are taking your shoes off when you enter a house and not kicking out your child at 18/making them pay rent. Sure on speical occasions, I get a taste of chinese culture, such has half chinese western/half chinese weddings, lion dances, and kung-fu [because my dad is a kung-fu master], and bowing 3 times at the grave stone, funeral stuff etc.[but even then its just chinese flavored/tinted traditions, nothing too heavey and more likely a stronger western influence] But as for everyday, household stuff. No. My parents speak to me in english. We eat mostly western meals. My mom hated the family hierachy system and sheltered me from it. We don't have a strong bond with our extended family. Theyre more like strangers to us. I've never been to china, I dotn know how to speak chinese. etc etc etc.
2. My interest in Japan is just a personal choice. Don't take it so personally. Why do you have to bring my bloodline into it? I think people have a right to choose what lifestyle is best suited for them rather than sticking with what they happened to be born into. And please don't bring the war into it. It has nothing to do with me. Besides the ACTUAL people who were involved in those wars are LONG DEAD.
3. This last one is just LOL. As mentioned before I say im canadian because I am NATIONALLY Canadian and i can prove it with my birth certificate. Who ever said canadian people are white? Not that they are even the original people here to begin with. Some say that there is no true canadian. But AS a canadian who has stepped outside for a bit, you will notice that there is a canadian culture. Maybe not TOO much different than american BUT there ARE differences.
Blonde and blue eyes? white envy? dont make me laugh! Most of what i have to say about this is on XiaXue's blog entry about this. You can find it on my links section. What if i dont wanna be white? have you ever stoped to think that it could be that i wanna be an asian who has blonde hair and blue eyes because I LIKE how it looks? what do you think about that??
conclusion: I AM WHO I AM. I CHOOSE WHAT I CHOOSE. WHAT MY BLOODLINE IS OF MINIMAL RELEVANCE IF OF ANY RELEVANCE AT ALL.
IM NOT ASHAMED OF BEING CHINESE, I JUST THINK THAT ITS DOESN'T DESCRIBE ME VERY WELL
Some people have this illusion that they think that i think I'm Japanese. Since when did i say that? In contrast of mind-set yes, I've adopted much more japanese culture than chinese. Thats pretty appearent. But i never said that i was acutally Japanese. And yea, i never will be 100%. I believe im a mix of western and japanese when it comes to my way of thinking. And i think its a good thing ^_~ theres pros and cons of every culture. Just move to the one you feel has the most pros and the least amount of cons for YOU personally, thats all.
Some people have been criticizing that on facebook I only make the effort to make the initiation to talk to ppl who are fashionable or cute. Implying I should be fair and do the same for everyone. Sounds like a reasonable ideal request. But given that there are close to only a couple hundread shy of 3000 people on my facebook, you dont expect me to send messages to EVERYONE. I do however answer peoples questions and write back when they write to me. Isn't that good enough??
Others have been citicising that i only make an effort to meet up in person with people who are fashionable/goodlooking. Really? this is unfair. Lets re-word this; I only make an effort to meet people in person who have simular interests or i feel share the same kind of lifestyle with me. How much time do you think i have? I go to school and aside from right now i always have been working. I barely have enough time for my close friends usually so get off my back about this. Even my closest friends sometimes complain i dont have enough time to hang out. So why should i meet with EVERY SINGLE person who wanna hang out with me? Its also dangerous no? what if theyre a psychopath?
As for some people who complain i might not be writing as long as a reply back to. Take another look at what you said. If someone said something offensive to me, or i found a bit rude [like amber couture] I may not write such a long comment just to be polite as to not say something rude back. Also some people write things like "nice" or simple comments.What do i have to go on to reply?
conclusion: MORE PEOPLE THAN THERE IS TIME.
Overall conclusion to topics 1, 3, and 4: WHAT YOU ARE GIVEN BY BIRTH DOESN'T NECESSARILY DEFINE WHO YOU ARE! IT IS YOU WHO DEFINES WHO YOU ARE.
PS. ANYONE WHO IS TRYING TO GET ME TO STAY IN VAN BY BASHING JAPAN, GO WASTE YOUR ENERGY ELSEWHERE. IM STUBBORN AS HELL AND NO AMOUNT OF PERSUASION IS GONNA MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND! I've given it alot of thought. Its not just a overnight whim. WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOUR PRECIOUS VANCOUVER JUST ISN'T SUITABLE FOR ME?!
To those who actually took the time to read it. Thankyou very much ^_^