Monday, February 1, 2010

Counter Arguements.

Seriously sometimes I'm soo sick of people. When there are alot of people you get alot of criticisms. Therefore here are my answers/counter arguments to their personal self-righteous jabs.

Each counter argument is divided by topic. So just skip to the ones you wanna read if you don't wanna read the whole thing.


[note: this is to the MAJORITY of people not those who happen to have personal specific fetishes for topics 1 and 2]


Makeup

Critic: "Don't wear so much makeup, natural beauty is best" "I want to see your REAL face" [referring to my naked face]

1. Natural beauty is best crap: sorry most people would seriously look much better if they trimmed their eyebrows or got rid of their lip fuzz. Or is not shaving your legs and armpit hair also attractive?? Not everyone is born looking drop dead gorgeous. Are you implying that those who aren't shouldn't be allowed the chance to improve their looks if they wanted to?

2. Whats this philosophical crap that your naked face is your REAL face? That's bullshit. That face is just the face you happened to be born with. Does it say anything about who you are? No it doesn't. Whereas makeup is most often personal choice and shows how a person would like to be seen. Makeup is a form of self expression!

Besides lets really count the hours. I wear makeup from after styling my hair in the morning to when im ready to climb into bed. This means i wear it minimally 16hrs a day! Its the face that is shown most hours of the day. The only reason why i take it off is because it will cause pimples or w/e if i left it on overnight.

In conclusion: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN INSTEAD OF CHANGING ME, LEAVE ME FOR PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE AND GO FIND YOUR PLAIN HOE ELSEWHERE!

Fashionable Partner

To the guys who say:"If only she saw my personality she will fall in love with me." "She is racist and shallow because she only likes fashionable guys from a certain culture" "I can change~!"

1. Uh-huh, you keep on thinking like that. Some girls are less defined , have less options, or less stubborn/patient/more desperate. [I personally don't mind waiting] But lets be honest, you can't completely dismiss physical attraction.
This is how I see it:
JUST looks = nice eyecandy but that's about it
JUST personality= still makes very good friends don't you think?
Personality+ looks= Now we're talking ^_~
Why not have both when you can find both? and leave those other guys to someone who would appreciate them more.

2. Now, that's un-true. Its just a specification of the kind of lifestyle/values that you'd prefer in a partner THEN its a comment about which look appeals to you.

Saying that you want a fashionable partner is really no difference than a outdoors person who prefers to find outdoors partner. Fashion is not just a look, its a LIFESTYLE and a MINDSET.

Why I want a fashionable partner specifically?

1. A fashionable guy takes care of his appearance. Thus taking a simular amount of time to get ready in them morning as I do. If lets say he takes 45mins-1hr and i take 1hr15-1hr30 he only has to wait an extra 15-30mins. If i start ahead of him [aka shower before he does] then he has to wait even less. Even so, he doesn't mind waiting because he understands the process and waits patiently as you get ready.

BUT a normal guy doesn't take as long so he might be waiting for 1hr or so and he doesn't see the need for it. So he will become inpatient or have at least an undercurrent of impatience [I tolerate how long she takes] and will be rushing you out the door saying, it looks ok already lets go. You dont need to wear so much makeup lets go! Why do you have to take so long on your hair, or picking out your clothes?!

2. When you go shopping together, a fashionable guy will actually give you input and a real opinion of the clothes you are looking at. Like humm... i think this color is better, or maybe a size smaller is better etc. And he enjoys shopping with you and understands the time process of buying clothes. Whereas a normal guy will be like that looks nice, that looks nice too, everything looks nice or you already have so many clothes why do you need more? Why must you keep looking? that looks good enough lets go! Even if he doesn't say it, you will feel the undercurrent impatient/bored mood which wrecks your mood as well..

3. At the end of the day, a fashionable guy understands that a face with makeup and without is gonna look different and to what degree. They are fine with it. Trust me, girls who wear makeup normally have thier face prepped for makeup. eg eyebrows are thinned out and almost looking non existant so that when you DO put makeup on your eyebrows match your hair color. But a normal guy doesnt undersand that sometimes. They just say omg i feel ripped. She doenst look as pretty without makeup. HELLLO?! are u listening to yourself talk? since when did girls naturally have black liner/colored eyeshadow on their eyelids? gezz.. and whos being shallow now???

4. If you happen to co-habitate/get married if your values are vastly different, your budgeting will be screwed. 2 fashionable partners will set aside a pool for their clothes and personal appearance and cut back on other things. but if 1 lets say loves food and don't care about fashion, and the other is about fashion and not so big on food. the budget will be out of sync and its either gonna be a comprimize or the inability to save.

5. Why do people hate on fashionable guys? Yea they make want to make you wear makeup more, do you hair and want you to take care of how you look too. I DONT have problem with this~! i do it automatically anyway. Its nice to have someone keep me in check when im feeling a tad lazy anyway.

I can change! thing... why? just find someone who likes you for who you are as you are and let me find someone who i like for who they already are. Minor tweeks are fine but when it comes to major changes lets face the facts.

1. People can only change so much. Sometimes, honestly it will NEVER be even close.

2. A partner changing so much for the other will have this overbearing tension at times if not alot of the time. I don't want the burden of "I did this and this and this for you. I changed for you! why can't you change for me???" Forget it! Easier just to find someone who is what you want in the first place. So that they will be like we looked so hard for the partner who is suitable for us. She loves me for exactly who i am.

In conclusion: WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE JUST NOT MEANT FOR ME?!

Ditching Your Roots

"You must be ashamed of being chinese because you rather say you are canadian." "You are betraying your chinese heritage by being so intersted in Japan" "You secretly want to be white because you say you are canadian and dye your hair blonde/ wear blue cons"

First off lets look at the REASON why people ask where are you from/ what's your ethnic background. Its a question to know a bit more about you. The basic fundamental, general way that you are wired culturally. Personally speaking, given my situation, saying im chinese is an extra bit of information that throws people WAAAAAAAAY off. Saying I'm canadian is much closer to who i am.

1. YES I rather would say I'm canadian! BECAUSE I AM CANADIAN. DUH. I think it tells more about me and more info of who i am than if i said I'm chinese. I'm chinese by blood sure, but I'm not nationally chinese, and I'm not culturally chinese. If i said im chinese right off the bat before someone knows me well enough, they will a) start speaking to me in chinese [before i can even say i dont know any] b) assume that i was raised with chinese values and traditions which I'm not. So this piece of info about me is almost irrelevant.

I was raised as a canadian. My parents raised me with 80% western way if not 90%. The only chinese we kept are taking your shoes off when you enter a house and not kicking out your child at 18/making them pay rent. Sure on speical occasions, I get a taste of chinese culture, such has half chinese western/half chinese weddings, lion dances, and kung-fu [because my dad is a kung-fu master], and bowing 3 times at the grave stone, funeral stuff etc.[but even then its just chinese flavored/tinted traditions, nothing too heavey and more likely a stronger western influence] But as for everyday, household stuff. No. My parents speak to me in english. We eat mostly western meals. My mom hated the family hierachy system and sheltered me from it. We don't have a strong bond with our extended family. Theyre more like strangers to us. I've never been to china, I dotn know how to speak chinese. etc etc etc.

2. My interest in Japan is just a personal choice. Don't take it so personally. Why do you have to bring my bloodline into it? I think people have a right to choose what lifestyle is best suited for them rather than sticking with what they happened to be born into. And please don't bring the war into it. It has nothing to do with me. Besides the ACTUAL people who were involved in those wars are LONG DEAD.

3. This last one is just LOL. As mentioned before I say im canadian because I am NATIONALLY Canadian and i can prove it with my birth certificate. Who ever said canadian people are white? Not that they are even the original people here to begin with. Some say that there is no true canadian. But AS a canadian who has stepped outside for a bit, you will notice that there is a canadian culture. Maybe not TOO much different than american BUT there ARE differences.

Blonde and blue eyes? white envy? dont make me laugh! Most of what i have to say about this is on XiaXue's blog entry about this. You can find it on my links section. What if i dont wanna be white? have you ever stoped to think that it could be that i wanna be an asian who has blonde hair and blue eyes because I LIKE how it looks? what do you think about that??

conclusion: I AM WHO I AM. I CHOOSE WHAT I CHOOSE. WHAT MY BLOODLINE IS OF MINIMAL RELEVANCE IF OF ANY RELEVANCE AT ALL.

IM NOT ASHAMED OF BEING CHINESE, I JUST THINK THAT ITS DOESN'T DESCRIBE ME VERY WELL

Jap-washed

Some people have this illusion that they think that i think I'm Japanese. Since when did i say that? In contrast of mind-set yes, I've adopted much more japanese culture than chinese. Thats pretty appearent. But i never said that i was acutally Japanese. And yea, i never will be 100%. I believe im a mix of western and japanese when it comes to my way of thinking. And i think its a good thing ^_~ theres pros and cons of every culture. Just move to the one you feel has the most pros and the least amount of cons for YOU personally, thats all.

Elitist

Some people have been criticizing that on facebook I only make the effort to make the initiation to talk to ppl who are fashionable or cute. Implying I should be fair and do the same for everyone. Sounds like a reasonable ideal request. But given that there are close to only a couple hundread shy of 3000 people on my facebook, you dont expect me to send messages to EVERYONE. I do however answer peoples questions and write back when they write to me. Isn't that good enough??

Others have been citicising that i only make an effort to meet up in person with people who are fashionable/goodlooking. Really? this is unfair. Lets re-word this; I only make an effort to meet people in person who have simular interests or i feel share the same kind of lifestyle with me. How much time do you think i have? I go to school and aside from right now i always have been working. I barely have enough time for my close friends usually so get off my back about this. Even my closest friends sometimes complain i dont have enough time to hang out. So why should i meet with EVERY SINGLE person who wanna hang out with me? Its also dangerous no? what if theyre a psychopath?

As for some people who complain i might not be writing as long as a reply back to. Take another look at what you said. If someone said something offensive to me, or i found a bit rude [like amber couture] I may not write such a long comment just to be polite as to not say something rude back. Also some people write things like "nice" or simple comments.What do i have to go on to reply?

conclusion: MORE PEOPLE THAN THERE IS TIME.


Overall conclusion to topics 1, 3, and 4: WHAT YOU ARE GIVEN BY BIRTH DOESN'T NECESSARILY DEFINE WHO YOU ARE! IT IS YOU WHO DEFINES WHO YOU ARE.

PS. ANYONE WHO IS TRYING TO GET ME TO STAY IN VAN BY BASHING JAPAN, GO WASTE YOUR ENERGY ELSEWHERE. IM STUBBORN AS HELL AND NO AMOUNT OF PERSUASION IS GONNA MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND! I've given it alot of thought. Its not just a overnight whim. WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOUR PRECIOUS VANCOUVER JUST ISN'T SUITABLE FOR ME?!

To those who actually took the time to read it. Thankyou very much ^_^

25 comments:

  1. omgosh I completely agree with everything you had to say and so sorry you have to be bombarded with all of those annoying questions/statements from people who simply just don't get it. I've been told that I'm a sell out because I love most Asian cultures especially Japanese and Korean but I know that isn't the case. I love being a Nigerian American and have no problem telling people that that's who I am. What I don't get is why people find it so hard to believe that people from different nationalities can enjoy an entirely different culture apart from their own? It's all stupidity and close mindedness. It all makes me upset.

    Sry I didn't mean to write this much but it had me going haha

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  2. No, no, it's good. This was written partly because of my frustration but also for others to read so they don't feel so alone. I'm sure many others are feeling the same way esp western gyaru. Its also meant to get people to think as well. I am always happy to get long replies/messages/comments ^^

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  3. Oh my god people are so stupid ><
    You can like Japan if you are chinese where is the problem ?
    And you are racist because you like fashionable guys hahaha that's idiot XD
    And I don't think you wear A LOT OF make up, I think your make up is really cool :)
    I'm agree with you to say people with make up make them more beautiful !

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  4. Hi there! It's icecreamfactory from livejournal, just come to give your blogspot a read. :) I agree with everything you've said. I've gone through a lot of the same questions and issues with my family and friends, gyaru and non, and it used to make me so mad when I was younger (though I wasn't into gal when I was younger, I've been into different Japanese fashions for ten years). Luckily my immediate family has begun to accept it, even though they don't understand it... the point is, I really get what you're going through and where you're coming from. I can imagine you'd be really pissed off, at least I really was/still am sometimes when these kinds of issues come up.

    Also -- oh my god. What you said about fashionable men. I couldn't agree more. I've put up with so many excessively 'simple' (read: lazy) guys, guys who don't appreciate the effort you put in, guys who throw on a t shirt and a pair of dirty jeans and don't even bother to shower... ugh. And they really don't care about your time or effort. It bugs me so much. I had a boyfriend who was so much like that... I swear I wouldn't spent 10 minutes in one store and he wouldn't speak and wouldn't enjoy anything with me. It made things so difficult, this was actually the reason we broke up and couldn't hang out anymore -- our values were just too different!! But I never knew how to say this. You did such a good job of writing this.

    There was also a boy I met once for a blind date who, after ten minutes of knowing me, told me I was a "Jap-washed white girl with a culture fetish", which really made me mad. It's like.. wow... our friend must not have told you much about me if you think you're going to get away with talking to me like that!! :/ I left really soon after that, what a jerk! And he kept telling me about other girls too. >/// *so mad haha*

    Wow, I wrote a lot. But I just wanted you to know I agree with you totally!! This all makes sense!! And about people wanting you to stay in Van instead of Japan? It's probably cause they're going to miss you of course, but that's no reason to try and keep you from your dreams. :( <3 がんばって!!

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  5. I should have written a long comment and tell you how much I agree with you, but I guess this is enough haha.


    Thanks for the reading. Such a good reading on the morning! I was supposed to get myself dressed, but instead I ended up here reading this~

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  6. Just wanted to say I AGREE soo much! U go girl!

    Thats all :D

    XOXO Amanda

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  7. ah, :8 ! agree
    i really dont get it why ppl care so much about others lifes =/?
    and basically agree with evrything =/ !

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  8. I just found your blog and I had to read this one! All you wrote is so true, I don't get some people at all. v_v One of my friends keep complainig because he thinks I put too much make-up on, and it starts to be so freaking annoying! He says that I should accept who I am instead of putting on make-up.... Argh!

    Yeah, that's it. I love your style, you're cute! Go for it!

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  9. Kaoru-> LOL yea, He meant because I prefer asian guys but I didn't want to get into that. [because the features and styles i like are more common in asians and almost non existant in others. But i have fallen in love with a white guy before. But he had very fem features and culturally very japanese influenced and spoke fluently in japanese] Either way its mostly because im just not interested in people who dont suit my tastes AND they are wayyyyyyyyy off in terms of achieving my dreams of living in japan.

    And thankyou for your comment on my makeup =3
    Icecreamfactory-> Ahh yea, I've also done lolita and Visual kei. Even before that I've had blond hair since 2003 [on and off but mostly on].

    blind date: you totally had a right to be mad. That's totally insulting

    Yea.. alot of guys hitting on me here, have this illusion that they can make me fall in love with them and stay in vancouver. Theyre dumb...


    Monica-> Lol no worries. Haha im glad it was such a good read for you ^^

    Manda-> thankyou

    Yuri-> yea~! Maybe because they find it offensive cuz it makes them feel akward about how shabby they look

    Zara-> LOL ironically, those people who say that think people like us hate ourselves and want to put on makeup to hide ourselfs. And that we are obsessed with looks, and we are superfical. But whos really the superfical one? As said above our naked faces are just a pile of genes. It has nothing to do with our personality and soul. Just our physical body. Makeup on the other hand is a form of self expression. What if we are more beautiful and bold than our physical body appears? you should say to him "That's funny but your comment seems contradiciting. Who i am is someone who likes to put on makeup. Not putting on makeup would be not accepting my part of my personality which desires my face to look as bold as my personality. So why cant you accept who I AM and lay off?" :P

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  10. yay you are great and super smart!!XD all what you said is right! but most of peoplehave closed mindes to everything what they dont undertsund, maybe they are just too stupid to understund just dont mind and live your life ;D all people make their life as they want to. If I wanna change my appearance i will, what problem with that. its same as 99% of people die hair XD they also dont show real hair. all people change soemthing about them. many of them are idiots

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  11. haha I got you on a role~ It seems to me that after you read xia xue's blog, it really got you thinking.
    Dude you should read this other rant she had XD I don't know how she does it, but she makes everything funny~

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  12. Its been floating around my head for ages. Ive made this speech a zillion times but this is the first time i wrote them all

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  13. Yeah... I don't like it when guys complain too much about girls putting on make up, even just a little bit =( what annoys me even more is when a bunch of guys complain about it together X_X

    People need to be more open minded and stop complaining to every little small thing that doesn't meet their satisfaction... you live the life you want to and make the best out of it, cause you only get to live once.
    haha someone said that to me once ^_^
    and of course I'm on your side ^-~

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  14. Just wanted to say that I agree with you in these arguments, there is a lot of wired and selfish people that don't want others to experience their own happiness.

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  15. Wow, I totally agree with what you said. People are too ignorant these days, just be yourself and as long as you're happy, others opinions won't affect you :) btw I love your makeup it looks great, I'm sure others comment because they're jealous (-I_l-)

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  16. Hey, this is Morgan/Momo from fb/vancouver lolita community~

    I just read this whole thing, and honestly, I absolutely loved the way you worded your section about makeup AND your section about Canadian herritage. As a caucasian girl who is very interested in asian culture (in general, I like chinese, korean, japanese, ect), I get a lot of crap from caucasian people, teasing me saying 'you want to be asian', 'you're trying to be asian', even calling me 'wanna-be asian', ect. Even the mention of you dying your hair blonde; i dyed my hair black! So I got the same questions all the time, and reading your response feels like I should just shove your words into my mouth and spit them at those people~

    : ) You're an excellent representation of herritage not equating to culture. I think Canadian is a perfect term, too, since Canadian's are awesome >D kekeke.

    Keep being yourself~ (we all know you will!)
    x♥x♥
    momo

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  17. Hi there, you said you will be going to Japan for sure next year and living there hopefully forever. I suppose you should know you are not allowed to look for a job under a tourist visa right? And since a tourist visa is only 3 months long, you either need to re-enter Japan or staying there illegaly...which I think is what you're doing, isn't it? Anyways, hopefully you can find a job that will sponsor a work visa for you to enter Japan, then it should be easy! Good Luck!

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  18. momo-> yeaa feel free to repeat my words to them ^_~ they looooonnng deserved to be told

    anonymous person-> dont worry im well aware of the difficult rules of this kind of thing. No, im going on working holiday visa which is 1 year. while there ill figure out something to stay longer.

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  19. Well I see you are picky. Its all good. You seem to stem off from some kind of suppressive feelings of fairness (i.e. guys love the cute chicks and it gives you rights to love the cute dudes). While at the same time, you defend your deviance of being a western gyaru. I admit I thought you were a Japanese girl. I think you will fit right in up in J-pan. I wonder though, how is your Japanese? If its better than mine, then you are fluent. I'm close to intermediate and can talk some basic dialogue, albeit slowly.

    All feelings of conforming aside, I like cute asian girls. Even if they slap me for taking pics, flick me off for hollering at them.. I will still like them even if they hate my guts. I think you will feel the same about me. I got the personality but not the looks. Not the kind of guy you might take a second look at huh?

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  20. Oh wow.. the makeup point totally hits home. I was unfortunate enough to date a couple of guys last year who after several dates (me made up to perfection) informed me that although I looked fantastic... they hoped I would soon discontinue all the makeup nonsense because they preferred "the natural look" zero makeup. It just blows me away sometimes. Its like why did you ask me out then....why are you wasting my time? Makeup is not only an extension of your "self" but also artistry.

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  21. I loved the bit about a fashionable guy, it rang so true. Walking into a shop with a guy who doesn't give a crap and just wants to go home is a real drag and ruins the fun :/

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  22. Hihi long time no see/talk ^^ Stumbled upon your blog from randomly facebook picture stalking (you have a lot of nice fashion pictures) and ended up reading this post...

    Really nice comebacks! Completely agree with everything you said. Especially seems like the people who originally left those comments appear to think you're maybe narrowminded or picky or whatever but they are actually the narrowminded people because they can't accept or see that people are just different and their own values are not better, just different. They're the shallow ones.

    In the end, it's just you trying to find someone who complements your personality well (share similar interest etc.) and it just happens that you like certain types of quality in guys. I think being fashionable indicates a lot of other qualities that's good in the guy, such as paying attention to detail, appreciating the effort that the girl put in to look good for them, being able to do more things together and actually participate in the girl's interest in fashion etc.

    The "are you trying to be white" comment really cracked me up. It reminded me of a comment someone said to my caucasian friend (who dyed her hair black) if she is trying to be asian... I didn't know hair colours define people's nationality.

    Just realized I wrote a really long message ^^;; Wish you luck on the job hunt! Will also be watching your youtube styling videos, very helpful~ <3

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  23. i agree with the make up thing! :)

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  24. i completely agree with all the makeup and guy stuff
    but how you said that the people from the wars were long dead is kind of insensitive to those who are still alive...and so many people from the war still hate on other races so it could make sense that people are confused with you being chinese but liking japan regardless. idk i just had to bring that up lol

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  25. Hey girl, I just happened to stumble upon your blog and fell in love with your love story on how you met Ai, I also happened to read this post of yours and I completely and TOTALLY AGREE! I don't sport the Japanese gyaru style personally but I love looking at other people who do because they look absolutely gorgeous like real living dolls. I don't understand why other people pick on you and other girls for that matter for having a preference in guys and for liking cosmetics/make-up. Seriously, they should just mind their own business, it's simple, if you don't like it or if you don't like someone then why waste time even commenting on it/them? Right? Ugh, I hate those types of people. All I gotta say is you ROCK GIRL and MORE POWER!

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